Mentorship is a powerful tool that unlocks greater possibilities in our lives and careers, regardless of where we are on our professional journey. Reflecting on my own journey I am grateful for the gifts I received from mentors I had as a young leader and those that still support me today. Throughout my career, mentors have been some of the greatest sources of strength, learning, and growth outside my formal learning experiences. The trust developed through those relationships, especially in my moments haughty self-entitled arrogance, made it safe to openly address my shortcomings, however difficult they were to acknowledge.
One piece of feedback from a mentor changed my life. When granted an exercise in graduate school to ask for direct feedback from three different people on a variety of topics, I approached my mentor with the specific question: “What is one thing I do that stands in the way of my success?” The exercise was designed to begin with the softballs, so I was feeling good about some of the positives she shared with me when she said, “You interrupt people, and it gives the impression that you are not listening.” This revelation blew my mind! Coming from a family system built around external processing filled with bursty moments of ideation coupled with my relationship with an identical twin that normalized the practice of finishing another person’s sentences, my propensity for interrupting was completely out of my line of sight.
This feedback had a profound impact on me, and even ten years later, I continue to work on ways to improve my listening skills and the way I show up in conversations. Because of that experience and many others, mentoring others is also a privilege and responsibility I take very seriously today. I tread carefully in the gray space between coaching and mentoring, but I have found that when I approach mentorship with the same open heart, curiosity, and belief in the mentee’s inner capacity to grow that I do with coaching, magic happens.
Amy* and I were paired through a formal mentorship program during her first year in graduate school. Over our first meeting at a restaurant, we established a tradition of enjoying a late afternoon lavender panna cotta with fresh berries as we explored what was important to her. We talked about her past clinical experience as a nurse, her purpose for pursuing her MHA, and goals she wanted to achieve through the mentorship relationship. Amy met the opportunity of mentorship with a beginner’s humble curiosity, a capacity for self-discovery, and an openness to venture into spaces outside her comfort zone. She took her time to deeply consider her goals for mentorship, and by our second meeting together, she declared building her confidence and finding her authentic voice as a leader as two key focus areas.
Last week while savoring our lavender panna cottas, the change in her over the past year was palpable. She radiated in grounded confidence as she discussed her courses, work, and a collaborative project with the college of nursing. Her voice was solid and confident, yet still open and curious as she identified new goals to reach for in the coming year. Most importantly, she was able to reflect with honesty on some of her greatest challenges of the past year and see how much smaller they looked in the rear-view mirror than they felt at the time.
As Atul Gawande opened his TED talk Want to Get Great at Something? Get a Coach, “I think it’s not just how good you are today, I think it’s how good you’re going to be that really matters.” This sentiment encapsulates the essence of mentorship and coaching in navigating the complexities of leadership. He continues to elaborate on how people improve in the face of complexity, or don’t. I would argue that leading in complexity requires coaching and mentorship. None of us can go it alone. Our healthcare systems are complex organisms developed from scientific advancements over the past 150 years, policy decisions, and sometimes poorly executed business decisions that impact the systems long after the leaders who made them have left their positions. We do our best as leaders, but we can’t always know if we pull one thread, whether it will unravel the entire ball or get stuck in a knot. Leading with integrity amidst those forces is no simple task, and mentors help us see paths through the noise.
“Amy” is a pseudonym to preserve anonymity. This article has been published with her permission to share part of her story.
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